One of the most difficult challenges for anyone is to receive feedback about yourself without judging it. How can you accept it for what it is? How do you listen to it with honesty and openness?
I was in that very situation earlier this month. Three board members of a nonprofit board that I chair sat down with me and shared their frustrations with how board meetings have been run. Their feedback: We’ve lost focus on the big picture, we spend too much time on minutiae, and we spend too much time picking apart the budget.
Ouch! That’s my responsibility as the board chair to ensure a productive and engaging board meeting. To their credit, they gave examples and did it with the utmost respect. Their frustration was rooted in that we can do better and need to refocus on the big picture of what we are about.
I was acutely aware during our conversation that I wanted to prove them wrong. A voice inside my head was saying:
- “I know how to run a good meeting.”
- “We’ve focused on the big picture.”
- “We don’t spend that much time on the budget.”
- “And, why didn’t they speak up during the meeting?”
It’s times like these where the practice of mindful meditation has its value. What is the breath in this conversation that I need to focus on? It is their concerns and voices. The voices inside my head are the distractions which I was of aware of, but I was able to draw myself back to the breath in this conversation – their concerns and voices. All that mattered was for me to listen, receive what they said and seek clarification if need be.
We came to an understanding of what needs to happen in the next board meeting: They will share with the board what they shared with me.
I admit that I processed the meeting later with my wife and still felt a bit singed by it all. But, upon further examination of board minutes, their concerns were valid.
The practice of mindful meditation helps me in so many ways to be attentive, aware, and nonjudgmental.
How about you?