Accept What Is
I was talking with an administrator at a senior care retirement community earlier this month. She shared with me some of her frustrations:
- not being able to hire staff due to a lack of qualified applicants,
- having to give time to staff that are not consistently performing,
- just the overwhelming feeling of how difficult it is to manage people.
She felt exhausted and somewhat numbed by it all. I …. listened.
I then asked her if her words of frustration, feeling overwhelmed and exhausted, created a space for her to breathe or felt constraining. She said it was the latter. I suggested to her that most likely she is living with fear-based thoughts – I’m not good enough, I can’t do this, why is this so difficult, etc.
I asked, “What would happen if you consciously chose to accept what is?” That felt to her like giving in, being complacent, or resigned. I offered a different perspective for her to consider:
“Acceptance does not mean you agree with it or are resigned to it. Approach it as, this is what my work life has placed at my feet. Now, how can I accept it for what it is, and not fight it, or allow fear to play havoc with my thoughts and emotions? How can I be present with this situation coming from a different place within me that creates space and openness?”
She said that instead of fear she would approach her situation from love, i.e., this is a time to learn, to challenge herself, to find ways to deal with her situation within the limitations she’s faced with. I added, “And WITHOUT judgment.” It is what it is. This is what you get to deal with.
How does she feel now? A sense of hopefulness, space, and less constrained.
Fear can be a straitjacket that binds us resulting in paralysis. The mindful practice of “accept what is” can help us unshackle the straitjacket’s straps so we can breath and face our reality without judgment to respond with whatever life places at our feet.
When did fear constrict you? What would happen if you accepted the situation as it is?