Over the last several months, I’ve been conscious of how often I’ve used the phrase “be nonjudgmental” in my work with clients.
So what does that really mean and why be nonjudgmental?
When we are judgmental we often rush to a determination without reason, i.e., we are not open-minded nor really listening.
- We allow our preconceived notions to enter into our minds to formulate an opinion.
- In our minds we begin thinking we are right, or have a better idea, or that person doesn’t know what he or she is talking about.
- It leads us to a conditioned reaction.
- When we do this, it is not productive, collaborative, or team oriented.
Most people know when someone is being judgmental because it casts a pall over the situation. It creates dissonance and negative energy for everyone. It closes off others.
Being nonjudgmental is the opposite: We are open to receive, deeply listen, and give consideration to other ideas and opinions without dismissing them.
- I can question myself and consider other points of view.
- I don’t allow my personal standards or beliefs to filter what is being said or considered.
- I receive it for what it is, fully and wholly.
- It leads me to an intentional response.
- It sets the stage for productive action, collaboration and team focus.
Most people know when someone is being nonjudgmental because it creates space in the situation. It creates resonance and positive energy. It invites people to share more.
Here is what I do to be nonjudgmental:
- Daily practice of mindful meditation which cultivates the mind skills of attentiveness and awareness.
- When I’m judgmental, I don’t judge myself. It happens. Accept it, but be mindful of it.
- Breath, pause and recognize I’m being judgmental.
- Let it go, be present and open.
Stop creating pain for yourself and others. Try it and see what value it offers to you.