Kevin Pokorny Consulting

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It’s Time to Ask Serious Questions in Sexual Harassment Training

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Recent surveys show that men, in particular those in management, are uncomfortable mentoring women or even working alone with a woman.  The most recent survey is from LeanIn.Org and SurveyMonkey who partnered with #MentorHer

I’ve facilitated sexual harassment training workshops for over 25 years, to thousands of people in hundreds of businesses and organizations.  I’ve realized it is time to ask provocative questions in a facilitated dialogue between women and men to talk about what needs to be said about sexual harassment. [Read more…]

A Compassionate Response to Darkness and Pain

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image by jeremy-bishop-480184

It is tempting to succumb to despair, in the midst of the mass killings at the Florida high school last week.  I can feel my own despair and anger drag me into a dark abyss with no hope for light.  But when that happens, then I cannot be in a state of mind to act with conviction in response to this tragedy. [Read more…]

Mindful Leader Insights

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I am facilitating several workshops on mindful leadership.  A concept I will be using comes from Janice Marturano, Founder and Executive Director for the Institute of Mindful Leadership.

Let’s begin with a look at what it means to be mindful.  When you are mindful of this moment, you are present for your life and your experience just as it is . . .

  • not as you hoped it would be,
  • not as you expected it to be,
  • not seeing more or less than what is here,
  • not with judgments that can lead you to a conditioned reaction . . .

but for exactly what is here, as it unfolds, meeting each moment with equanimity.“

(~ Finding the Space to Lead – A Practical Guide to Mindful Leadership)

 

Now, I ask you to take her words to heart and ponder what that really means to you as a leader.
[Read more…]

Living in the Life of Acceleration

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I started reading Thank You For Being Late – An Optimist’s Guide to Thriving in the Age of Accelerations, Thomas Friedman’s new book. 
Photo by Boris Stefanik on Unsplash

He opens with,
“The three largest forces on the planet – technology, globalization, and climate change – are all accelerating at once,”  and this acceleration feels “like driving a car that went from zero to sixty miles per hour in five seconds.” 

Freidman says that as a result we no longer know how to be patient, to pause, to be late, or to reflect.   We’ve “made waiting technologically obsolete.”

[Read more…]

Humility

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Humility is not something that leaders are noted for.  There is the temptation to always explain away mistakes, diminish the negative impact of a decision on customers or employees, or not accept or seek to understand feedback that is critical of one’s skills or behavior.

What does humility mean? [Read more…]

Autumn Quotes to Ponder

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As Autumn approaches in the Midwest, I invite you to take a few minutes and ponder the following quotes about our change in seasons.

Autumn shows us how beautiful it is to let things go. 
~ AUTHOR UNKNOWN

Winter is an etching, spring a watercolor, summer an oil painting and autumn a mosaic of them all. 
~ STANLEY HOROWITZ

Anyone who thinks fallen leaves are dead have never watched them dancing on a windy day.
~ SHIRA TAMIR [Read more…]

The Skill of Listening For

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There’s a lot of talk today that no one listens anymore.  If we all keep talking, how can anyone listen deeply?  Maybe that’s the problem.

Whether we are interacting with leaders, co-workers, customers, or those in our personal relationships, connecting with people demands that we listen, but listen for what? [Read more…]

Beware of cows in your life

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Thich Nhat Hanh tells the story of the Buddha having a silent lunch with his monks in the woods.  A farmer comes hurrying by and asks if they had seen his cows, which left him that morning.  The farmer bemoans that the loss of his cows will create hunger for his family.  Insects have already devoured his crops.  If he doesn’t have milk to sell, he might as well kill himself.  The Buddha tells the farmer they have not seen his cows and he should look somewhere else.  Once the farmer leaves, the Buddha turns to his monks and said, “Dear monks, you are very lucky.  You don’t have any cows to lose.”

Hanh says, “A cow stands for something we need to let go of.  Our idea of happiness is a cow.  Our idea of happiness is the main obstacle to happiness.  And it’s because of this idea of happiness that we cannot be happy.”

How can our idea of happiness become the main obstacle to happiness?  When we aspire for things in the future that we believe will bring happiness, we are no longer present with our lives and situation for what it is.   Our source of happiness has shifted from the present to the future.  If we are not happy and joyful in the present, “it’s because we’re caught in our ideas.”

I must admit, I find Hanh’s statements on happiness perplexing and complicated.  But, let me give it a try as to what wisdom he is offering.

If I believe that certain conditions must exist for my happiness, (e.g., a bigger house, a new car, weight loss, more money, a more loving spouse, grandchildren, etc.), then I’m not present in recognizing the joy and happiness that already exist.  My focus is the pursuit of the ideas of happiness, which may or may not happen.  And, if they do, who is to say that they will make me happy!

So, here is what I want you to do.  Take time to write down the names of your COWS, something you need to let go of.   Some of your cows will be ideas of happiness.  Learn to let them go.  As Hahn says, “Let go so that happiness, joy, and peace can be possible.”

(Quotes from How To Relax by Thich Nhat Hanh, 2015)

 

Be Kind to Yourself

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Be Kind to Yourself

I have journaled for years about my life’s journey.   Each time I meet with my spiritual director, I read what I have journaled since we last met.  Most times I end my journal entry with, “Be kind to yourself, Kevin.”

We tend to be our own worst critic.  We judge ourselves against unrealistic standards.  This was illustrated to me when I recently engaged eight women in the medical field on mindfulness.  [Read more…]

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Pokorny Consulting
Des Moines, Iowa

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