A client asked me to facilitate a three-hour learning engagement on Relationship Building for Managers. So, where does one start?
After reviewing several books and lots of content, I came up with three attributes that I consider critical in relationship building for managers.
Attribute #1: Authenticity “The art of handling relationships well, then, begins with authenticity: acting from one’s genuine feelings.” Authentic managers demonstrate integrity, with a profound sense of purpose and willingness to live their core values. Here are two of several components to develop one’s authenticity:
- Know yourself well, to know your deepest values and bring them to everything you do.
- Manage your unhealthy ego that wants more of what you don’t need, which happens at the expense of others. “Strive for humility” – thinking of yourself less – and “learning to let go” of the fears that affect our success and happiness.
Attribute #2: Authentic Listening Why do relationships in general fail? Inadequate listening. Listening is the first step in making people feel valued! Treat it as a gift.
Attribute #3: Respect How do you earn respect from others without feeling like you should have their respect based on your job title or position? You have to give respect to receive it from others.
It takes a lot of work to live these three attributes, which I can personally attest to. But when we do, we might become what Albert Einstein said, “Try not to become a man (person) of success, become a man (person) of value.” (I added “person” which represents an update for the 21st century.)
Sources: Leading with Wisdom – Sage Advice from 100 Experts by Jann E. Freed, and The Pause Principle – Step Back to Lead Forward by Kevin Cashman.