In April, I published a blog called Words of Wisdom from several books I recently read. I received a number of positive comments for that blog. So, I decided to offer it a second time called Part 2. May these new words offer you wisdom, reflection, and thoughtfulness.
In my work with self-compassion, we talk about guilt vs. shame. Both Brene’ Brown, research professor at the University of Houston, and Kristin Neff, Associate Professor of Human Development and Culture at the University of Texas, describe guilt and shame the same way.
- Guilt – “I feel bad about something I did.”
- Shame – “I am bad.”
Now, think about the difference between the two. We can repair guilt when we’ve done something bad, e.g., offended someone. We can apologize to that person, take responsibility for the hurt we caused, and ask for forgiveness. As Kristin Neff says, “Research shows that self-compassion allows us to experience our feelings of sadness, regret, and guilt without getting trapped by feelings of shame.” [Read more…]
When a problem arises in your workplace, do you focus on who caused the problem or the process that led to the problem?
This was the question a client, an Executive Director of a senior care retirement community, raised with me this month. His leadership practice is “root cause, not root who.” When a department director brings a problem to his attention, he insists that they focus on the problem, not the person. He tells them, “Don’t tell me the person(s) involved. Let’s identify the process that led to the problem.”
He made this shift when he realized that too much attention was focused on the staff people involved, which side tracked addressing what was really important – the process.
The recent USA Today’s report, “Snapshots of Racism” which found a stunning number of student photos in blackface, KKK hoods and holding mock lynchings in college and university yearbooks during the 1970’s and 1980’s should alarm employers. An employer may be thinking, “So, what does this have to do with my business? We have diversity training and a fairly diverse workforce. Those photos were taken years ago. We don’t have anything like that in our work environment. Everyone gets along well and respects each other.”
Let’s be blunt. [Read more…]
What follows are words of wisdom from several books I’ve recently read. May the words offer you wisdom, reflection, and thoughtfulness.
“Change brings loss, and loss brings grief, often disguised as anger, fear, anxiety, or resentment. It seems like we suffer because of change. [Read more…]
I read an article called “The Feedback Fallacy” in this month’s Harvard Business Review. While reading I’m thinking, I already know what feedback is, how to give it, and its value. Why should I waste my time reading another article on feedback? And then I read this sentence,
“… it turns out that telling people what we think of their performance and how they can do better is not the best way to help them excel and, in fact, can hinder development.”
This is a MUST read article on feedback that will challenge the conventional notions we’ve all learned. Here is a taste of what you will learn.
This year marks the 500th year of the death of Leonardo da Vinci, one of the most brilliant critical and creative thinkers in human history.
I’ve been a follower of da Vinci for years, read several books about him, incorporated his critical thinking skills into my consulting work, and facilitated a number of workshops to teach people about his creative thinking techniques. One of my favorite da Vinci books is How to Think like Leonardo da Vinci – Seven Steps to Genius Every Day by Michael J. Gelb, a world-renowned innovator in fields of creative thinking, accelerated learning, and leadership development. [Read more…]
The skill of asking questions is quickly fading into the sunset. A business colleague recently told me how discouraged he is that graduate students he is teaching, do not ask questions. All they want to know is what they need to memorize for upcoming exams. [Read more…]
Self-compassion “involves treating yourself the way you would treat a friend who is having a hard time. . .a practice in which we learn to be a good friend to ourselves when we need it most.” (The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook by Kristen Neff, PhD and Christopher Germer, PhD, 2018)
This past week, I facilitated a self-compassion seminar for bank employees. I began by asking the participants to reflect on these questions: [Read more…]
This is an important reminder: If you did not provide anti-harassment training for your staff in 2018, then do it in 2019!
Nurturing a respectful and safe workplace is a continuing process.
Here are a number of reasons: [Read more…]